Being Complete III

I'm going to go down a different rabbit trail in this entry part 3 but, it all ties together (in my mind anyway). I call this "Being Complete as a Man". Our American culture has set in place the boundaries and expectations and definitions of what is a "Man". Consequently we have pigeonholed the guy the shows all God given emotions as less of a man and the guy that cant get in touch with his emotions and cant display his sensitivity as a "manly man". It doesn't make sense to me.

I was in an airport onetime with some friends and one of them was, what people call, a manly man. Well my friend sees a long lost buddy of his and they start running up to great each other. And as they get close to each other you could tell they wanted to hug , but they couldn't, it wasn't manly. They just bumped each other in the chest, slapped one another in the arms and that was their greeting. They were so uncomfortable greeting each other it was comical...and sad.

I have heard so often that this guy or that guy is a "mans man"...huh, what is a mans man? That question intrigues me. So I have asked a lot of men, what is a mans man? And as expected, their answers are all over the place or they don't have an answer at all. So how can one say that person is a mans man when you don't know what it means. I think the answer lies in the culture we are in, where perception is everything. However when we stripe away the perception and facade and get down to reality, this "mans man" is just a very one dimensional guy. He is just a guy that has drank the kool aid. He has been taught and believes that he must show no emotion, must stay disconnected from any display of being sensitive. And the displaying of affection is reserved for the, amongst others, "big truck", guns, card games, hunting trips, food and beer and Sunday football mania. Now NOTHING is wrong with any of that, individually, but is that all there is to men? Unfortunately I think that is all there is. Of course I don't think all men are one dimensional but, I think its is the majority of men.

What about being the complete guy. The guy that can do it all. How about in-addition to all the above, men actually change the diapers of their children, men actually getting up and do the early AM bottle feedings for their infant while their wife sleeps. How about doing homework with the kids or cleaning up the puke when their children are sick. I know "manly men" can mow a lawn and change the oil in their car but, how about doing the laundry or cleaning the house to give your wife a break. How about having a conversation of depth and substance where it is actually a....conversation. How about showing emotions other than anger and frustration.

Far to often I see guys just pointing and grunting when they are out in public with their family, all the while the kids are cowering for fear of the head slap for any misstep they may make. Or the kids are out of control and its all the mothers fault. It kills me to see men use fear and intimidation as "teaching my child". This is not teaching, its just being a bully. But the father knows no other way because that is how he was taught...so the cycle continues.

Now I know in scripture there is clear defining of the roles of men and women should have in their marriage. I also know that men are to provide and fight for the family's honor. Along with that, shouldn't being there for the family in roles of support and loving guidance be a mans role also?

I was struck a few weeks ago when I read in Proverbs 3 13-18

(13) Blessed is the man who finds wisdom,
the man who gains understanding,
(14) for SHE is more profitable than silver
and yields better returns than gold.
(15) SHE is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with HER.
(16) Long life is in HER right hand;
in HER left are riches and honor.
(17) HER ways are pleasant ways,
and all HER paths are peace.
18) SHE is a tree of life to those who
embrace HER;
those who lay hold of HER will be blessed.

What struck me about these versus is that Salomon intentionally switches from the generic reader (people) to a male reader. Knowledge and understand are being taught in this book and God is referring to understanding and knowledge in the feminine.
For me, this is the way of saying, men need to be in touch with their, wait for it....feminine side. Its about being a more lovable and a loving guy. Its about being sensitive to pain and the needs of others. Its about actually showing your true emotions and letting the tears fall because you hurt. Its about being the guy that gives the wife a day off from the house work and cleans the house. I believe that God, in these versus was, was telling men how to be complete. Yes men can and should grenade up and take that hill. And they can and should, clean up the puke of a child and cry with them. Its called being complete, that is a "mans man".